I have not updated much recently because I’ve been studying for my exams. I am taking 8 courses here in Japan as well as 3 university level courses at my school in Canada. Exams are pretty much killing me.
I realized that I had passed my halfway point last week, and it feels really enlightening to have made it this far. I remember my first week here, and thinking to myself, “How on earth am I ever going to make it 5 months?!” The first week was the most difficult. I was nervous and apprehensive, and basically regretting all my decisions that brought me to Japan.
“Why would I ever choose to live in a country where I don’t know the official language?! I must be completely nuts!!”
Some people have told me that I am so brave to be living here alone, but honestly, I don’t feel it. I feel scared, lost, a little hopeless, and sometimes I just want to scream. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE this experience and I feel especially fortunate, but as they say, “You can take the girl out of Canada, but you can’t take Canada out of the girl!”
There are some times I just want to pack up and go home. They don’t do things here the way they do in Canada!! Everything is different! Nothing is familiar!!!
But, you know, just because something is different and unfamiliar, doesn’t mean it’s bad. I have learned to adapt to my new environment. I have made friends, and I have experienced things I never in a million years ever thought I would ever get to experience.
I went through a lot as a teenager, I was depressed and didn’t have many friends. Looking back, I always dreamed of escaping. But then, I started making friends back in Canada, I went back to school, and now I feel I’m on the right path. There was a feeling in me when I started my first day of college, that I knew I was doing the right thing. This all feels right. I’ve never felt this way before.
Coming to Japan has made me realize there are so many other lives and other cultures that I haven’t even began to discover. I want to travel to other countries, and meet new people, and learn about why people do things the way they do them. Honestly, what could be more enlightening than going to a foreign country and learning the language, or learning their way of life?
I still think I’m completely nuts, but the experiences I have had here, and the friends I have made will last me a lifetime.